Mystery and Breakfast

Welcome to my home.

Greetings curious visitor

I am about to get a socket installed, so that I can plug my hair dryer directly into my wall. This will help me a great deal in the morning, getting ready for a cigarette and a teabag. I usually run an extension reel down the road from Gold Hill Wines on Kingsland Road in order to dry my greasy tangles with soothing wafts of air, but not anymore.

I’ve developed a green/ yellow complexion because I swallowed 8.4 litres of orange juice.

I have been trying to keep in the trim by swallowing the juice of a fruit. Apparently, the juice of  orange will cure common skin problems like big cheeks/ lobe stretching/ baggy eyelids/ flaky forehead/ soft feet etc…

Baggy eyelids® (see figure 1) can be cured by dipping your head into a barrel of apple juice four times a day, preferably after eating.


BEFORE TREATMENT, severley baggish lids.

BEFORE TREATMENT, severely baggish lids.

After approximately thirty-six hours of  submersion, we begin to see signs of improvement [fig2]. Although, excessive and prolonged exposure to Coppella [fig3] , can  result in cheek exploding (always fatal) side-effects .

[fig 2]*

Less Bagging

Less Bagging

[fig 3]*

CURED [but showing signs of fatal ballooning cheek]

CURED, but showing signs of fatal "ballooning cheek".

I am completely unsure what the exact meaning of all this is, other than it is completely and utterly based in true fictitious fact.

Lovely news, terrible news, and news that is OK.

Our new single is out in the shops on the 9th of March on Chess Club Recordings. “Whole World On Its Head” will be available in the shops on fantastical limited edition 7inch vinyl. A brand new song called “Flames Like Tinder” will be on the B-Side, and you can listen to  both songsters on our MySpace page.

You can also pre-order the record from Rough Trade online by clicking here, and they will deliver it to your door!

We are heading out on a tour of the UK in a few weeks to celebrate the release, and for some of the dates we will be joined on the bill by the wonderful Wave Machines and James Yuill…



Ticket Info:

Weds 25th Feb – The Lexington, London

Ticket Price: £7

Ticket Weblink:

Ticket Line Tel: 0871 230 5595

Thurs 26th Feb – Audio, Brighton

See Tickets – 0871 230 5595

Fri 27th Feb – Assembly, Leamington Spa

Ticket Price: £6

Ticket Weblink:

Ticket Line Tel: 01926 523001

Sat 28th Feb – Cockpit 3, Leeds

Box Office Details: 01132455570 and

Sun 1st March – King Tuts, Glasgow

Ticket Price:£6

Ticket Weblink:

Ticket Line Tel:08444999990

I have neglected to mention music I have been listening to, and for this I apologise. I’ll follow with a post containing informational substance very shortly…




Filed under Disorganized Crime in Dalston, Post War Years Mindbabble

2 responses to “Mystery and Breakfast

  1. Hendo


    RE: Your tour poster. Guildford is spelled Guildford, not ‘Guilford’ as has been mistakenly printed. Nobody will begin to understand what or where this erroneous made-up village is. Also this does not refute any unsubstantiated claims that you are regional racists.

    Unacceptable. 2/10

  2. Just passing by.Btw, your website have great content!

    Making Money $150 An Hour

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