This weeks ‘web-log’ attempts to bring some class to an internet publication that has, thus far, sorely lacked the intellectual vigour becoming of such a format. I trust this new direction will be welcomed by our educated readership, inspire healthy debate and, hopefully, spark the change we’ve long been waiting for.
Life presents itself first and foremost as a task: the task of maintaining itself, if this task is accomplished, what has been gained is a burden, and there then appears a second task: that of doing something with it so as to ward off boredom, which hovers over every secure life like a bird of prey...
thus the first task is to gain something and the second to become unconscious of what has been gained.
Schopenhauer, “On The Vanity of Existence”, 1851
As we sit in the Russian Club and half-watch softcore pornography, it occurs to me that Schopenhauer might have a point. As insightful as the plot of The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man might be; it ultimately fails to address why, as Schopenhauer puts it “…even sensual pleasure itself consists of a continual striving and ceases as soon as its goal is reached.” As a solution to boredom, the programme thus fails on two counts; morally, in its hedonistic prescription for the titular protagonist, and teleologically, as a form of entertainment (or relief from boredom) in itself.
The man, invisible or not, looks to survive. If he succeeds, he is faced with the tedium of that very survival. The man will thus find new ways to alleviate his boredom. But these misadventures, erotic or not, are ultimately doomed to fail. For both the viewer and the pornstar, the relief is fleeting and finite…
Oh buzzards of jadedness,
casting limp gaze over fair fields.
Oh monotonous falcon,
soaring with tired limbs.
Why flat, osprey?
The raptors hover, ceaselessly, overhead.
It is clear from the chilling and unexpected break into poetry that these fowl must be avoided at all costs. What follows is a report of the authors own attempts to achieve this end; to relieve his boredom over the past week. The report is presented in the first person, for clarity of presentation, and Section 3 presents a brief evaluation of the results.
2. The Misadventures of Subject A
2.1 The Mini Casio
Instead of working, I listen to the demo function of the Casio SA-1. The almost limitless (100) tones of the instrument sound its version of Wham’s Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go.
Inspired, I decide to recreate the new version of White Lies I’m working on using the mini-keyboard. This keeps me amused for over 3 hours. I feel little guilt, knowing that the resulting work will go down in musical history.
2.2 The Internet
The 80s were clearly a less boring time, I scour the internet for further information.
A literal version of Aha’s Take On Me keeps me amused for a further 5 mins.
I conclude it’s funny because they sing what’s happening in the video. Later, I question this assumption and drift into a mild state of apathy.
2.3 The Phil
It is Chess Club’s first birthday. We go to Punk and play recorded music for the kids (on compact disc). I suggest Phil Collins and dance. O yes, I dance.
I dance, and drink. And forget…
3. Evaluating the improbable
While direct anaesthetism of the brain yields the successful results shown in 2.3, this is unlikely a long term solution. Ulitmately the Casio SA-1 gave most diversion (for the least shame) and its use should be further encouraged.
Next Week: Intergalactic Dilemas: the moral maze of transporter accidents. The first in an informative series examining the philosophy of the Star Trek universe.